Abstinence: What you need to know
Have you ever asked yourself the question “Why do I really want to have sex?” If teens stopped to ask themselves this question and made an obligation to not have sex until they had a super extraordinary answer, then there wouldn’t be % of teenage pregnancies and adolescents wouldn’t be amongst the highest group of those afflicted with HIV. Do I want to do it because that’s all I see on TV and in my favorite music videos? Am I being pressured? Do I want to have sex because I think all of my friends are doing it? Those are not good reasons at all. Actually, they’re pretty sucky reasons if you ask me! I’m sure you’ve heard it all before but sex should really be something saved for a persona that you really truly love and trust. There’s so much out there that would make getting pregnant a small thing. With pregnancy you at least have options, like adoption, but consequences like HIV and Herpes are for life! So think twice, maybe three or four times before committing to sex. Remember, you are worth waiting for!
Do I Have To Be A Virgin To Practice Abstinence?
I already had sex, is it too late for me to practice abstinence? NO WAY! The meaning of abstinence is to refrain from a certain behavior. So if you slipped but now realize that you don’t want to go down that road, again, at this point in your life then hello…… abstinence is for you! It may even be a bit easier for you to abstain because you already know that the talk is so much more then the act. You know that what they say in the songs and how they portray sex may be untrue. So don’t be ashamed of your experiences. Be an advocate, share them with your peers and maybe you can save some of your friends from having an experience they can’t change the outcome of!
How Will I Know When I’m Ready To Become Sexually Active?
- When I have a solid knowledge base on ALL of the sexually transmitted diseases that I could contract. This will help me to choose the method of protection that best suits my partner and me.
- When I am not ashamed to talk about sex to my parents and other trustworthy adults.
- When I am able to commit to taking on the responsibility of fully supporting a child if my girlfriend or I become pregnant. Will I be able to support this baby financially and emotionally?
- When I am willing to put my future goals on the side to support a child if I/my girlfriend gets pregnant. I have to consider short and long-term goals. Am I willing to sacrifice up my Saturday afternoon football games or my dreams of going to college to become a lawyer?
- When I am comfortable enough to walk into my doctors’ office and ask for contraception that will prevent pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases and infections.
- When I can talk openly and honestly with my potential partner about our sexual histories.
- When I feel comfortable enough to go and get tested for HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. The ultimate is when my potential partner accompanies me to be tested also!
- When I am able to honestly say that I am not in lust with this person but that I truly do love them and they feel the same way about me. (link to Infatuation vs. Love test).
- When I am mature enough to think things through logically. When I have the ability to sit down and maybe even write out the pros and cons to making a decision. How will this decision affect me tomorrow or even 6 months from now?
- When I can honestly make the statement “I am making the decision to have sex because I have weighed out all the consequences and I KNOW that I am ready. I am NOT doing it to fit in, I am NOT doing it because I feel pressured, I AM in control of this situation, it does NOT have control over me!”